As I look back at all the first date situations that I have been involved in, I start breaking out in a little sweat. Not because of the monsoon heat, but cringing at some major faux pas committed.
You don’t need to be a relationship guru to know how you should act on first dates. It’s common sense really. Unfortunately, the anticipation and nervousness pent up inside you typically get’s the better of you and you ignore the playbook.
That said, here are my tips for things you should and should NOT do on your first date.
- Dress appropriately - If your first date is to the beach don’t wear shoes/sneakers. If it’s to a fancy restaurant, don’t wear flip flops. Underwear also counts here. A pair of cool boxers will play a role if you get lucky. You get the gist ;)
- Be groomed up - It goes without saying you need to be well-groomed before your date. Smell clean and fresh, get long fingernails or unwanted bodily hair cut. I would even go as far as moisturising your hands before shaking hands. That’s just me.
- The 80/20 conversation rule - This is not an official rule, but something I feel gives good balance. Talk about yourself 20% of the time and ask your date questions the other 80%. You don’t need to keep looking at your watch during your date for this!
- Keep the language and conversation decent - Keep the conversation clean. There's no need to swear or drag it down the gutter. Avoid talking bad about anyone. Even Trump! Actually, maybe that’s OK ;)
- Keep your phone away - Put your phone on silent and out of sight during the time you are together. If you’re expecting a call or message from your therapist, look at your phone in the toilets or when your date gets up.
- Chivalry in moderation - It is, of course, good manners to open doors, pour a glass of wine, excuse yourself from the table etc. My advice is to keep it real and in moderation. You don’t want to come across fake or a wet blanket.
- Keen without getting too excited - This is never an easy one. How do you come across as keen but not desperate? There’s no hard and fast rule, but just look for signs from your date. Keep your cool and be calm even if you’re excited down under ;)
- Paying the bill - Simple rule to follow here. You absolutely offer to pay the bill. If she insists repeatedly (more than 3 times) on splitting it, then back down. Don’t make the situation weird and screw up all your good work.
- Asking for the 2nd date - You should have gauged whether your date liked your company. Even if your date is not completely sold on you, ask for another if you liked them. Say you had a great time (if you did) and mention that you’d like to see them again. Don't ask repeatedly (see #7). Give them your number, do not ask for theirs.
- The goodbye kiss - Don't dive in and start swimming in your date’s mouth. IF they allow, give them a small peck on the cheek. Keep your hands to yourself.
So there you have it. My personal tips for the first date. I would love to hear of any other first date tips we should be following.